Better Together
Finding your people can be a writing game changer
For most of us, the year 2020 brought loads of changes to everyday life, in big and small ways. Like many, I had determined that 2020 was going to be my year. Finally. With the novelty of the numbers along with the holidays showing up on the calendar on the preferred days of the week, there was something magical about the beginning of this new year. A brand new year full of possibilities; a game-changer of a year.
For me, 2020 would be:
- The year of writing
- The year I connected with other writers
- The year I took the much needed research trip to complete my novel
- The year I finished said novel
- The year I pushed published
- The year I left fear behind and moved forward
“Focus” was my “one little word” for the year — after all, it was “2020” and what better word to hone in my vision for this fresh new year. However, these well-crafted thoughts, plans and goals were devised in January, no less, and by March, it was a different game with no plan and lots of changes. A game-changer for us all.
One of the changes, or interruptions, 2020 brought was one I had just warmed up to — the idea of joining an in-person writing group. I needed connection. I needed accountability. I needed more than going it alone. To push through the overwhelming fear invading my life since my divorce and to open myself up to fully engage with others. To share my work and my words. To push away my lack of confidence, the raging imposter syndrome, and the hold anxiety had on me and to finally connect with other writers after keeping to myself for so long. I knew I needed to find my people. This excited yet terrified me.
The few meetings of the local writing group I attended in 2019 left me feeling as though I didn’t quite fit in once again. Being older than most as the late-blooming novelist (okay, boomer novelist) in attendance along with not finding anyone who wrote in my genre, I was the odd duck out but still amazed by the sheer confidence these young writers exuded as they spoke and shared about their work, their writing processes and their self-publishing journeys. I sat quietly through most of the meetings while they inspired me with their expertise, knowledge, and wisdom. Their “can-do” attitudes were invigorating (hence the 2020 goals) but sadly before I even had a chance to truly connect, along came you-know-what and shut down the monthly meet-ups and the world as we knew it.
Now what?
Nothing.
For the remainder of 2020, I put down my pen for the most part. I shut down Scrivener. The novel went back into the proverbial drawer with the others in their various states of completion gathering digital dust. The day job had me busy as an essential worker and with the added anxiety of staying healthy, writing took a back seat. Again. My much awaited, and very needed, research trip to Boston was canceled as the world closed its doors. My concentration was diminished and my thoughts were scattered. Focus had left the building. Writing in a community became a dream pushed to the back burner once again.
“Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together.”
~Marilyn Monroe
Fast forward to 2021. Life seemed to tip-toe a little closer towards the normal. Still no meet-ups in sight, but I was determined to pick up the pen — again — and once more begin. Returning to a different novel (there are four in that drawer) and with the Boston trip still no closer, I dusted off a past NaNoWriMo project, although my attention was lacking and consistency had gone out the window. And I realized how lonely this process, this writing gig, can truly be. More than accountability, I needed camaraderie. I needed to find my people.
So I turned to where everyone else was…online.
After staying well for all of 2020, my health took me down a mysterious path in the spring of 2021, giving me more time on my hands and on the computer, as I took a break from working to heal. During this time I joined the hundreds of other writers on the London Writers’ Hour from London Writers’ Salon. Chasing 8ams in four different time zones with writers from around the globe, writing hours are offered on Zoom every weekday. I challenged myself to show up and write, and to actually turn on my camera (terrifying at first) joining the other faces in the squares on my computer screen. And for 100 days straight, with adding writing alone on the weekends, I did just that. I showed up. And it was wonderful. Returning to the habit of writing every day, even on days when I wasn’t sure what I would write, or better yet, what I was in the mood to write, was cathartic.
I had found consistency in my daily writing habit once again, with this wonderful, welcoming space plus all the added perks of being an LWS member, but even so, I sensed the need for a smaller community to push myself in connecting. It’s so easy to stay invisible in the large. I have become a master at staying on the fringe, staying disconnected, lacking the confidence to do, or to be, anything different. Not just with writing, but with life as well. Divorce can do that to you, but that’s another article for another day.
“I like large parties. They’re so intimate. At small parties there isn’t any privacy.”
~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
Enter The Confident Creative Club
While writing with LWH, I was also intrigued by the idea of The Confident Creative Club being brought forth by writer Helen Redfern. I had followed Helen on social media for some time and found a comforting approach in her soft and warm appeal to not just build, but to claim one’s confidence as a writer. She understands those of us who want to write, who do write, yet are so afraid to share our work, and at times, ourselves, with the world. A gentle guide through the maze of imposter syndrome and procrastination, Helen created The Confident Creative Club for women just like me.
And I have found my people.
Women, of various ages (although I might still be the token boomer), in various stages of their creative journeys albeit writers, authors, poets, artisans of various mediums have joined in community to inspire, to encourage and most importantly — like it or not — to connect. All the while building confidence — gently, quietly, collectively.
Intimate yet small and private = perfection
Unlike the large party of the London Writers’ Hour where I can show up but still stay invisible, so to speak, The Confident Creative Club (or CCC, as we call it) is an intimate yet private “members only” club. Meeting several times a week in the little squares of Zoom as well, we show up and we write. And we connect. As one club member has coined our time together as the “Magical Writing Sessions” and those time blocks are just that — magic. Magic in the words produced, and in the connections made. And even when we run to hide beneath our desks — feeling exposed from our words or our posts or published pieces or even the proverbial over-sharing — others are there to cheer us on, coax us back and our lack of confidence dissipates once more. These connections, again from around the globe from Italy to Germany to England to the US to Canada to New Zealand too, have become kindred spirits in reclaiming confidence and, equally important, the work — the words — of all are met with a collective and outrageous outpouring of encouragement. It is truly magic.
“…when women come together with a collective intention, magic happens.”
~Phylicia Rashad
Finding my writing people has been a game-changer — not just for my word count, or for building my confidence, but for my life. I’m better with them, because of them (this article is proof) and collectively, as well as creatively, we are better together — making magic happen, one word at a time.
Written by Carla Calvert. To read more of her writing click here:
